Sunday, February 18, 2007

Free Bikini model pics!!

I am OLD.


I am just OLD with a capital O.

Everyone in my family has known this for years, and remind me of it on a daily basis, but it took a shocking revelation today to bring it all crashing home to reality to me.

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue now BORES me.

Hundreds and hundreds of pages of scantly clad, wafer-thin, anorexic models wearing dental floss sized bikinis just doesn't do it for me anymore.

My life is over!

One thing I never noticed when I was a younger, sex-starved adolescent male, was that they actually list the maker and price of each swimsuit the models are wearing.

Why? Who cares?

Men don't care anything about the swimsuit itself other than they wish there was far less material in each suit.

Do women actually read Sports Illustrated....especially the swimsuit issue?

And women.....Would you pay $380 for a piece of dental floss swimsuit?

I can make you one involving two band-aid strips and a piece of fishing line that will cost you all of 9 cents for a bikini that will cover all the required areas to the same affect as the $380 suit shown in the magazine.

My wife laughed. She shops the $3.80 sale racks at Target and Wal-Mart for swimsuits.

Somehow, I think that the people that can afford $380 bikinis are not the types that have Sports Illustrated laying around on the coffee tables of their multi-million dollar mansions.

What has happened to me?

Page after page of scantly clad women and here I am complaining.

Somebody shoot me!

And for God's sake....someone give those models a sandwich!

1 comment:

guttergirl said...

I don't know what happened to you, but it seems to have affected my husband too. His swimsuit issue is still sitting in the package it came in. The only thing he has done with it, is hide it from our teenage son. I guess it is time for him to pass the torch, or whatever you men call it.